19th november. we broke up. like yeah, good things come to an end isn't?
things wasn't good for 1.5 weeks.
gaming, girls, cca, work.
gaming, girls, cca, work.
i give in so much for this relationship, saying sorry even when it's not my fault, trying my best to trust him, trying my best not to text him even when i need him.
the truth it, there's never a perfect relationship. third party coming in, shits happens. all these problems are something that we can't hide from, especially in a relationship. & we just have to overcome them.
apparently, im not strong. to even fight back? or to even to try keeping what's mine? what can i do seriously? all i can do is to just watching my boyfriend leaving me for a fucking primary school kid.
i wouldn't have found out so much without the help of my friends. by asking both of them the facts, even though it's super complicated & it's totally non of their business, they helped me, as they know i wont do anything. i tried, scrolling through their facebook timeline, i cried lol so yeap, im sorry im just useless.
throughout this 87 days of being together with him, im really happy. i mean like, who would expected that your eyecandy would like you back as well? i mean like, that's super rare isn't? so genn was the first guy who i noticed through national camp, & i find him really cute. until we start communicating with each other, i find him as a really nice guy. we went out twice after the camp, & we got together on his birthday.
as one of my friend was a facebook friend of that primary 6 girl, my friend stalked her & found many pictures of she & my boyfriend. oh wait, i mean my ex, genn, that was only able to be seen if you are a facebook friend of hers.
im really glad that throughout this 1.5weeks, the period when i was freaking breaking down everyday even though i appeared fine on the outside, the period of time that i got so nervous every single time whenever i want to enter whatsapp, afraid to receive a message from him. but still, throughout this 1.5weeks, there are some people who are there for me. those who stayed along, cheered me up, assuring me that things will be fine, telling me to give up. to those who cared, really, thankyou so much. im thanking you from the bottom of the heart because it's just so hard to explain how thankful i am. without you guys, i will be the old bryana who used to lock herself in the toilet & self harming herself, leaving scars on herself just simply because she have no idea how to overcome breakups.
yes, im a pathetic bitch who got dumped & a person who don't want to let go.
call me that, i don't care. i don't mind. i really can't be bothered.
things already happened, what can i do? NOTHING.
i felt so worthless. all i know is to seek advices from my friends, asking them what should i do to salvage this relationship.
but, what's the point of continuing the relationship when his heart is no longer here anymore?
this only shows that he's not the right person for me.
to genn: hey. so you blocked me, unfriend me on all the social medias, whats the point? i worth this much as compared to her? whats with you avoiding me..? what did i do to deserve all this? i apologised to you for ranting those that i want to say, i told you how much i dont want to lose you. & you even assured me ''ok baby. u will not lose me. just trust me there's nothing between me and her'' i literally quoted this from what you sent me on 15 november, 5.18pm. so what is this..? lies or? i trusted you. i really did. if i didn't trust you, i wouldn't have waited for your replies for hours. if i didn't trust you, i would have continue spamming when i see you online & not replying to my message. do you know how much it hurts when i found out all this truth by myself, & through my friends? whats with the picture that you took with her? you told my friend this, ''Y must i meet up with her if she don't trust me at first'' i apologised to you on 15 november, you went to met her on 16 november. you told me that you will be meeting me on 15 november. okay i cancelled my work just to spare time for you. i waited. no message no calls, nothing. did i really meant this much to you? people are judging me for dating a younger guy, i don't mind. probably because you are my eyecandy since national camp, even though i used to judge people about them dating a younger guy. i thought you were different. you were good to me & you were good to my family as well. did you even know that my family blame me for everything because of this issue? i mean like, im not pushing the blame to you or anything. but it's like.. us drifting apart is totally not my fault? i did nothing wrong. why must i be the one who get blamed for, & why must my family side you instead of me? but anyway, thankyou so much for everything during this 87 days, those times when we skype whole day long during exam period, meeting up everyday during exam period even though we are not suppose to meet for an entire month. i mean, being together with you, is something that i never expected it to happen, being together with you, i felt loved, i felt different. im really really happy to be together with you, despite people telling me that you are a playboy. i don't believe them at all. what are all the promises & swears that you made? are all of it just simply lies? 1111 wishes are bullshits. you told me to wish for us everyday during 1111, & my wish was to last forever with you. it's just a stupid wish that i made. & this forever was simply 87 days. i loved you. but i guess, you are happy with her, & i wish you all the best. last long with amanda tan.
it hurts but i have to move on.
apparently, im not strong. to even fight back? or to even to try keeping what's mine? what can i do seriously? all i can do is to just watching my boyfriend leaving me for a fucking primary school kid.
i wouldn't have found out so much without the help of my friends. by asking both of them the facts, even though it's super complicated & it's totally non of their business, they helped me, as they know i wont do anything. i tried, scrolling through their facebook timeline, i cried lol so yeap, im sorry im just useless.
throughout this 87 days of being together with him, im really happy. i mean like, who would expected that your eyecandy would like you back as well? i mean like, that's super rare isn't? so genn was the first guy who i noticed through national camp, & i find him really cute. until we start communicating with each other, i find him as a really nice guy. we went out twice after the camp, & we got together on his birthday.
as one of my friend was a facebook friend of that primary 6 girl, my friend stalked her & found many pictures of she & my boyfriend. oh wait, i mean my ex, genn, that was only able to be seen if you are a facebook friend of hers.
im really glad that throughout this 1.5weeks, the period when i was freaking breaking down everyday even though i appeared fine on the outside, the period of time that i got so nervous every single time whenever i want to enter whatsapp, afraid to receive a message from him. but still, throughout this 1.5weeks, there are some people who are there for me. those who stayed along, cheered me up, assuring me that things will be fine, telling me to give up. to those who cared, really, thankyou so much. im thanking you from the bottom of the heart because it's just so hard to explain how thankful i am. without you guys, i will be the old bryana who used to lock herself in the toilet & self harming herself, leaving scars on herself just simply because she have no idea how to overcome breakups.
yes, im a pathetic bitch who got dumped & a person who don't want to let go.
call me that, i don't care. i don't mind. i really can't be bothered.
things already happened, what can i do? NOTHING.
i felt so worthless. all i know is to seek advices from my friends, asking them what should i do to salvage this relationship.
but, what's the point of continuing the relationship when his heart is no longer here anymore?
this only shows that he's not the right person for me.
to genn: hey. so you blocked me, unfriend me on all the social medias, whats the point? i worth this much as compared to her? whats with you avoiding me..? what did i do to deserve all this? i apologised to you for ranting those that i want to say, i told you how much i dont want to lose you. & you even assured me ''ok baby. u will not lose me. just trust me there's nothing between me and her'' i literally quoted this from what you sent me on 15 november, 5.18pm. so what is this..? lies or? i trusted you. i really did. if i didn't trust you, i wouldn't have waited for your replies for hours. if i didn't trust you, i would have continue spamming when i see you online & not replying to my message. do you know how much it hurts when i found out all this truth by myself, & through my friends? whats with the picture that you took with her? you told my friend this, ''Y must i meet up with her if she don't trust me at first'' i apologised to you on 15 november, you went to met her on 16 november. you told me that you will be meeting me on 15 november. okay i cancelled my work just to spare time for you. i waited. no message no calls, nothing. did i really meant this much to you? people are judging me for dating a younger guy, i don't mind. probably because you are my eyecandy since national camp, even though i used to judge people about them dating a younger guy. i thought you were different. you were good to me & you were good to my family as well. did you even know that my family blame me for everything because of this issue? i mean like, im not pushing the blame to you or anything. but it's like.. us drifting apart is totally not my fault? i did nothing wrong. why must i be the one who get blamed for, & why must my family side you instead of me? but anyway, thankyou so much for everything during this 87 days, those times when we skype whole day long during exam period, meeting up everyday during exam period even though we are not suppose to meet for an entire month. i mean, being together with you, is something that i never expected it to happen, being together with you, i felt loved, i felt different. im really really happy to be together with you, despite people telling me that you are a playboy. i don't believe them at all. what are all the promises & swears that you made? are all of it just simply lies? 1111 wishes are bullshits. you told me to wish for us everyday during 1111, & my wish was to last forever with you. it's just a stupid wish that i made. & this forever was simply 87 days. i loved you. but i guess, you are happy with her, & i wish you all the best. last long with amanda tan.
it hurts but i have to move on.
240814 - 191114
any questions, ask me on my askfm just simply clicking here
Signing Off,
Bryana Huang
No comments:
Post a Comment