blessed 15th

happy birthday to myself!! looking back, it's been a year since i started this blog so happy birthday to my blog as well :D

i felt so happy that people actually remembers my birthday!!! thankyou soooo much to those who actually stayed up til midnight just to wish me even though there's school the next day. those few peeps who actually called me & wish me/ sang the birthday song, especially chinkong who called me 3-4 times the whole day just to sing the birthday song over & over again hahaha. thankyou everyone who make the effort to send me a text, even though how short it is, thankyou so wishing me, i appreciated it alot. :)

so i celebrated my advance birthday with evelyn, liuhui, lucas & farant on sunday at town, as evelyn's birthday is a day before mine yay. so apparently it's so awkward as it's the first time i met farant & talking to him besides seeing him walking past in ndp 2013 hahaha. that day was kinda screwed up, but it's okay. at least im grateful that they came over despite their busy schedule. thanks bby liuhui for the balloons & cookies ( didnt took picture of that hehe in my tumtum )

(( sorry ah unglam thats why at the last picture hehe ))

went to ate ichiban boshi with my family at nex for another advanced birthday celebration. my aunt just came back from overseas after a few months & i guess it's been so long that i last ate with her??

was so pissed off at first that my grandma dont allow me to wear black on that day hmph. anyway everything went on smoothly that day after 1-2 hours of quarrel. thus, presenting to you my sian faces.

(( finally the selfie rod is used hehe ))

after my aunt left early to work, we continued shopping & walking around nex, & here come ice creaaaaam.

sorry ah shameless selfies time woohoo

(( there's way alot more than these ))

was late for school on tuesday as i overslept & missed 2 bus at one go, so yeah. didn't expected any presents but yeah, thanks jolene, deslyn, jiawen & limin for your presents & letters hehe. 

mum cooked mala ( some china dishes ) for the first time & it kinda failed i guess? but i love it!!! rainbow cupcakes for this year birthday & it tasted like HEAVEN. idk why my mum says she's super disappointed by the cupcakes' colours woops. but overall, yay exceed the rating bar!!!

someone said "a present doesn't need to be expensive, as long as you are thoughtful, it's all that matters." thankyou every single one of you, thanks for making my birthday so blessed & thanks for reading my lame blog. love you all lots, god bless.

Bryana Huang

15 years in life

okay so im the only child in my family & i was born in 29 july 1999. my parents divorced when i was one years old i guess??? the last time i saw my father is in 2007 under my blk?? then we didn't contact each other ever since. besides not having a father, i dont have a grandfather since young due to their divorce when my mum & aunt was young. my mum had a boyfriend since im 2 or 3 years old & he became my stepfather in 2008 but they divorced in 2011? so yeah my family only included me, my mum, my aunt (who is currently working overseas but will be coming back nxt month) & my grandma. because i didn't post any pictures with my father or even take any pictures of him, i used to get laugh by one of my twitter follower. it's might hurt me at the starting, but now? nah, im used to it, it's fine as long as i have my mum, my grandma and aunt with me.
since young, i have many different dreams about what i wanna be when i grow up, & i always wanted to grow up. but now, no. every moment when we are growing up, we met different types of people. some might stay with you all the way till you grow old, but you will also met people that left with lots of memories, & became strangers.

for my past 15 years, i only truly liked / loved 3 guys. and apparently all 3 of them are like strangers with memories, no contact, not a single hello when we saw each other in school / on the streets, except for ck who still continue being friends with me ever since we broke up in sec 1. thanks alot. that's the thing im most afraid of, & the thing that i really hate about relationships. one day, both of you can be like lovey dovey, the next day both of you are strangers with memories. it sucks. that feeling really really sucks alot.
i remember i was so freaking happy when my crush yj asked me for stead on 23rd september 2012, & i accepted it straight away. i wasn't that close with him, we seldom talk in class for the whole year & we didn't text each other at all excepts for asking about homeworks. until august 2012 when bilbur asked me to hang out with him & yj after school. ever since then, we started texting, started hanging out together with his clique, playing running man after school. i was together with yj for 1year2weeks, & we broke up on 13th October 2013. i was devastated. the guy that used to be my everything is gone. few days after we broke up, i locked myself in the toilet for more than 5 hours, was listening to sad songs & scrolling through every of our pictures, every messages of us, & crying non-stop. it hurts alot, i really hate the fact that he's not mine anymore.
i cant get over him, it's been more than half a year, i dont wanna let go. it's foolish i know, i just dont have the courage to accept someone new, hurting myself again. why did you leave me when you claim that you love me? i can't help myself to accept someone new into my life. i just cant let him go, start a new relationsjip, & who knows he might leave me with the same excuse as what i ex gave?
let's not talk about love, let's talk about cca hahaha. hmm so i was in guzheng since primary 1 all the way to primary 5. i hate that instructor sososo much that i hate going to cca as she's always bias & kept scolding me blahblahblah. so i survived without a guzheng till primary 3 or 4? so i bought it, & i used it less than 10 times. freaking $700 spent on that while it's still rotting at one part of my storeroom wtf. 6 years in primary school, i've been in guzheng, angklung, chinese dance, netball for very super duper short period of time hahaha.
in secondary, i'm selected to tri-touch but there's no one i know inside so i changed to basketball & girlguides. i've been in basketball till feb 2013 where i really cant stay in basketball anymore as 5 of my basketball clique, all those that im close to, started quitting one by one. because of that, i let go of my basketball passion, & continue being in girlguides. so here i am now, being the company leader of NV Girl Guides.
we might not know what is going to happen in the future & all we can do is to just enjoy the present life & not think that much.
ps: im really grateful in meeting some people in my life. & thankyou so much to those who never left me all along. love you all. xx

stay positive & stay happy :-)

bryana huang