thoughts

at some point of time, we commit ourselves to our partner, make mistakes, gave him every part of us, trusting that he will never leave.

in my case, when he left, i lost myself, completely.

someone told me this, '' you yourself is one whole. even after the person you love had left, you will still be one whole.''

but when he left, i felt empty. i let my pride down, begged him to come back, begged him to stay, but he didn't.

he left, all the promises he used to make,  is all broken.

people said, ''stay strong'' , ''move on'' , ''he don't deserve you doing so much for him'' , ''you deserve way better''. but, will they ever understand how you felt? do they know how much you loved him?

i cried, a lot. self harming came back as my best friends once again after 2 years, i stalked him on all social medias, i messaged him whenever i'm feeling low. i do all sorts of things in order to get his attention. will he even care? does he still love me?

i loved him more than anything else, & i'm really don't mind sacrificing anything in order to get him back.

''are problems resolved after self harming? will he come back after you self harm yourself?''

it's been 37 days since he left.

oh wait, we are not even together at the first place.

getting together with him, even though it's unofficial, it's something that i never expected it to happen. he came into my life when i just broke up with my ex boyfriend, who 3 timed me. i wouldn't be able to move on in such a short period of time. we started off as friends, hanging out together. he used to make the effort to travel down to my work place to fetch me home even though i end work at 10.30pm. he's a really nice person & i trusted him a lot, which i slowly realised my feelings for him.

on the last week of 2014, things started to change. all thanks to me for not considering his feelings, we kept quarreling as he went out with his friends everyday that week. im sorry for not giving you enough freedom im sorry for being too overly attached to you.

ever since school reopens, we didn't met up as i'm struggling with my school works, tests, & the fact that i have tuitions 5 days a week. i didn't manage to make time for him, i'm sincerely sorry for that.

this year, we met up once, on 11th january.

i didn't expected it to be the last time i'm going to see him anymore. i really have no idea..

even though this is not the longest relationship i had been, it's the relationship that i give in a lot, hoping too much, expecting him to stay.

''i told you i'll still love you no matter what happens. do you believe me now?''

i trust people too easily, & because of that, i got hurt very easily.

people come & go, not everyone is meant to be in your life.

''if it's meant to be yours, it will be''

if its fated to be yours, it will eventually find its way back.

kljk; i'm really glad that you had already move on & i hope you will find someone better than me. i'm sorry for not being the ideal girl that you wanted, i'm sorry i fell too hard in love with you, i'm sorry i believed everything you said, i'm sorry i'm not that strong enough to move on. i'm sorry for being overly attached. i'm sorry for falling in love with you. i'm sorry i existed. i'm sorry for everything. i miss you so much..

17th november 2014 - 1st february 2015

always remember me telling you this, i'll always love you no matter what happens. 

Bryana Huang

bloggy x blogshop

Bloggy Blogshop had sponsored me with this luxury 34 black lens. As i had been wearing lens ever since december 2013, my expectations for luxury lens are quite high hahaha. & it's pretty annoying how some lens are manufactured wrongly ((etc the lens diameter don't suit the eyes)) & i couldn't continue wearing them as my mum says it will affect my eyes & may increase the chances of getting blind. It's really uncomfortable how the lens will keep shifting position everytime i blink, & there's a few times whereby the lens stucked in my eyes & i have difficulties taking it out :')

Bloggy Blogshop's lens are really comfy & luxury 34 is one of the hot selling lens as the design is super pretty!!!!!!!!

grab your own pair of luxury lens from bloggy blogshop today, 100 designs to choose from, one pair for only $6.80, minimum 2 pairs :) preorder will close on 30th january, waiting time of less than 2 weeks only!!

quote my name for free normal mail when you purchase minimum of 3 pairs of lens!!! x

instagram: @bloggy_blogshop

carousell: @bloggy_blogshop

Bryana Huang

lemniscate x closet

when we are a child, everyone should have something or a character that means so much to one. & for me, it keeps changing throughout the years. stitch had been my favourite ever since 2012. despite others' comments that stitch is ugly as compared to other characters, i don't really care. i can't remember how i became a hardcore fan of stitch, it just happened.

i started collecting lots & lots of things related to stitch. soft toys, keychains, stickers, badge, notebook, accessories, tshirts, & now, finally, thanks to lemniscate closet, i finally got a stitch phone casing.

i was so glad to be able to change my xiaomi note, which i had been using for 5 months, to a iphone6 gold, on the last day of 2014. it was such a great new year gift. & thanks to that, i can finally get away from my ugly phone casings & yay to new phone casing from Lemniscate Closet.

"'Ohana" means "family." "Family" means "no one gets left behind." But if you want to leave, you can. I'll remember you though. ---- Lilo

There's so many different designs to choose from, even the trendy stardust bloop casings are available as well!
For phone covers, preorder will close every saturday with only 1-2 weeks of waiting time.

Quote ''bryanahuangx'' & receive 5% off total bill :)

Do check them out & get loots from them, you'll never regret it!
instagram: @lemniscatecloset
carousell: @lemniscatecloset

Bryana Huang

2k15

secondary 4 life is hell. 

it had been less than a month since school started, & i'm already struggling. as i did pretty badly for my end of year examinations last year, i'm down for almost all of the after school programme, which is remedial for the weaker students.

besides remedial & school work, i'm also struggling with my tuition work. to be honest, i have tuition for 4 subjects : Emaths, Amaths, Combined Science (Physics & Chemistry) @ kovan mavis.

I have to stay back after school for remedial everyday from next week onwards. Even though it haven't started, i'm already feeling the stress.

School works, Tuition works, where got time for revision & personal time when i always reach home at evening time? Is this what others said, the hell of secondary 4 students?

Cca. I'm going to step down on 13th march 2015, which means there is less than 2 months till i finished my 4 years journey in girl guides. it had been a pretty good experience being in girl guides to be honest. i joined this cca along with my friends, & i really disliked it when i was secondary 1. 

I dislike uniformed groups ever since i was in primary school as i find it very lame & nerd. As time goes by, after many involvement in girl guides, thinking day, cookie sale, national day parade, camps etc etc, i find that every events have a meaning behind it. through all these events, you will be able to interact with girl guides from other schools, know new friends & learn new things from it.

The most memorable encounter in girl guides is during my involvement in national day parade. i signed up for national day parade under girl guides as my mum told me so. i had no intention of joining it but i just go along with the idea & went for the marching trial. End up, i was the only guide from my school went got selected. I didn't talk to anyone during the training, which was every saturday, for about 1 month. i eat alone, i sit alone on the bus. i tried making friends but it's really too hard for me as i seldom speak up. i tried saying hi to some & i end up feeling feel awkward & just move away from them. i felt really upset during that period of time, as i felt that i can't blend in with the others.

I started making friends with Juliet, thanks to the leaders of guides, & we started talking & eat together every week. slowly, i made more & more friends. our training started on the start of may, all the way till national day parade. i made friends with evelyn on the 3rd last training, when they helped us celebrated the july babies & she asked me when's my birthday. it's super awkward that we only talked for thats 3 days (3 saturdays) & we actually became close friends now. we texted everyday ever since october 2013, till now. it's pretty amazing how a stranger can mean so much to me right now just through girl guides.

last 2 months of girl guides, every cca training is just precious. thanks for letting me be the company leader for north vista secondary company, even though i'm a useless one who can't train the girls well.

11 more months of hardcore studying before o levels, i really wish this motivation will remain till the end of it, & that everything will be worth it.

''i've learnt that there will always be people coming & leaving your life every now & then. you just got to stay strong & don't let this affect you at all.''

Bryana Huang

lysstyle

greeting everyone :-)

finally blogging after one month since i had time right now, after completing my homeworks heh. time flies, it's 2015 now. o's for me this year, which means more homeworks, more tuition, more revision, more stress this year. it may be hard for me to cope everything, but i will not give up. a failure is just a opportunity for a second try.

aiming high is one thing, working hard towards your goals is another thing. im aiming to get into singapore poly as it's easier for me to travel as i can go to school by mrt. besides, i have seniors & friends in that school.

LYS Style is an online boutique for ladies by ladies. Whether you are a student, office lady or a professional, we know that every girl wants to look her best and feel good at all times!

At LYS Style, we believe fashion and style should be affordable and easily accessible. Hence, our designs are fashionable and up-to-date and promptly delivered to your home or any address within the shortest time frame possible.

Happiness comes from the ability to love. And the best way to love comes from loving yourself first and foremost. Looking good and feeling confident are two of the main ingredients that help generate self love.

Go on and pamper yourself or a cherished female friend or relative today with our quality products that speak of love!

i was being sponsored by lysstyle with a marble romper. i was pretty insecure at first as i didn't had a tube romper before this & i was afraid that it will end up looking weird on me. it was of very good quality & it fits perfectly on me.

this marble romper had paddings, but it is better if you still wear a strapless bra as well. besides, their sizing can fit people of different sizes, as there's a elastic band at the back.

i wore it on saturday, to tuition. & it's so awkward as people are staring me the moment i walk in. after tuition, went to singapore poly & ngee ann poly's open house.

necklace: in c/o @wlcshop
marble romper: in c/o lysstyle

((photoshoot on monday 12th jan))

do follow lysstyle on their websites & check out more apparels they are selling. if you dont know, they are selling both instocks & preorders, just in time for new year which is a month away! :-)

instagram: @lys_stylelove

carousell: @lysstyle

facebook: Lys Style

secondary 4 life was tough. having to see my seniors getting back their results on monday, it really affected me. especially before receiving their results, you are able to see their anxious faces. & after receiving their results, you would see some of them crying. it really hurts, & frightens me that it would be me taking back my results in exactly one year time.

i sincerely apologise for the lack of updates, i will try my best to update as much as possible especially during weekends.

any enquires, do email me @ cursedstitchx@gmail.com or ask me your questions at my askfm @bryanahuang

signing off here,

Bryana Huang

ohayotrendy

hey guys!

im finally back with another advert, after dragging it for more than a month, literally since 1st november.

okay anyway, ohayotrendy is one of the friendliest & is a super duper patient sponsor i've ever come across with.

she had kindly sponsored me with 4 apparels & a bag.

welcome to my photo gallery, here we go ^^

black floral top

Firstly, i've been sponsored by ohayotrendy with this stylenanda inspired black floral top. I expected this shirt to be thick, & not suitable for singapore's weather. but when i wore it out that day, despite that my shirt is black & the weather is super humid, i still felt really comfortable in this top.

Besides, you can style it differently to have different looks. you can simply pair it up with a high waist shorts to look casual, & you can also simply pair it up with a pair of skorts to have a girly look.

For me, i pair it up with a high waist shorts & zara inspired sandals as i prefer to look casual on that day.

Black Floral Top: $10 mailed

------------------------------------------------------

Shots taken by: Gracia

Venue; Vivo City Rooftop

--------------------------------------------------------

Chunky Necklace: Forever 21

Black Floral Top: Ohayotrendy

Denim High Waist Shorts: Bugis Street Level 2

Zara Inspired Sandals: Blogshop

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Shopkinned Leatherette Shopper Tote

Next, featuring the bestselling leather tote bag.

I personally dislikes handcarry bags as it's really annoying to carry it around & it felt like a burden on your shoulder, & the main reason why i hate handcarry bags, is that all my handcarry bags that i used to have are kiddy ones with patterns that i used to carry them to tuition etc.

To be honest, this tote bag is currently one of my favourite bag. it is very spacious & you can easily just place in all your necessaries into the bag & you're ready to go!

This tote bag is waterproof, like literally haha. i was walking under a heavy rain one day & i just simply used a tissue to clean my bag, & it's dried already.

it's convenient, light weight & comfy.

Shopskinned Leatherette Shopper Tote: $12 mailed

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Shots taken by: My mum & grandmother

Venue: Ang Mo Kio

----------------------------------------------------------------

Chunky Necklace: Forever 21

White Side Cut-Out Spag Top: Ohayotrendy

Stylenanda Inspired Leather Shorts: Carousell

Zara Inspired Sandals: Blogshop

Shopskinned Leatherette Shopper Tote: Ohayotrendy

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

White Side Cut-Out Spag Top

This is another apparel that is stylenanda inspired & i love the cutting alot.

To some of you, you all may know some blogshops who are also selling the same exact top, at a higher price, but are more popular, like having more followers on instagram etc. But some, i don't mean all, their material is different. some are cotton & are not durable. & it's definitely, not Ohayotrendy.

This bralet/spag top may not have a padding, but it have a double layer at the chest area.

It have a adjustable strap on & a hidden zip at the side.

White Side Cut-Out Spag Top: $10 mailed

---------------------------------------------------------------

Shots taken by: My grandmother

Venue: Woodlands

-------------------------------------------------

Chunky Necklace: Forever 21

White Side Cut-Out Spag Top: Ohayotrendy

Denim Overlap Skorts: Bugis Street Level 3

Jeffery Campbell Inspired Litas Heels: Carousell

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Dino Top

I love the prints of this shirt alot, as its dino!!! apparently this is my first green shirt except for school related shirts & im really happy with it!

Wore out when i go study date with Jasmine before work @ the newly opened Seletar Mall.

The material of this shirt is not too thick yet not too thin, & it's super casual yet soooooooo cute.

Dino Top: $9 mailed

-----------------------------------

Shots taken by: Jasmine

Venue: Seletar Mall & Nex H&M

--------------------------------------------------

Dino Top: Ohayotrendy

Stylenanda Inspired Leather Shorts: Carousell

White Shoes: Bata

Dark Blue Haversack: Eastpak

----------------------------------------------------------

cross-back purple flutter top

Lastly, with this purple flutter top.

It's an essential to have in every girls' closet.

It's really comfy & is made from thin material, & is a must to have especially in a humid country like Singapore.

Besides, the back is a cross back design which adds up the look of this plain flutter top. 

Basic Cross-Back Flutter Top: $10 mailed

---------------------------------------------------------------

Shots taken by: My grandmother

Venue: My house stairs

--------------------------------------------------

Basic Cross-Back Flutter Top: Ohayotrendy

Acid Washed High Waist Shorts: Bangkok

Accessories: H&M

------------------------------------------------------------------

Here comes to the end of this advert. & here's to some of my essay writing here again haha.

Im really thankful to this sponsor, not only because she's the first sponsor who sponsored me so many apparels, but it's also because of her attitude, the way she treat me, that she's really understanding & patient.

Few weeks ago, during the lowest point of my life, when there's so many of you all texting me & comforting me, she did as well. not only just a simple ''cheer up babe'', but she wrote a really long message to me. a long message filled with encouraging quotes, asking me to move on.

''always remember, life is not all about love between you & the other half, whats more important are the love among you & family, friends & everyone else around you.'' 

i've only lost someone who used to be really important to me for that short period of time. why am i losing myself as well when i lost him? whats the point of me begging him to be back when you know clearly that he won't & that all the tears shed are not worth it. without his love, there's still the love of my family, my friends, my online friends, & many people out there, who will love me more than how much he did.

life goes on.

God bless.

Bryana Huang