2k15

secondary 4 life is hell. 

it had been less than a month since school started, & i'm already struggling. as i did pretty badly for my end of year examinations last year, i'm down for almost all of the after school programme, which is remedial for the weaker students.

besides remedial & school work, i'm also struggling with my tuition work. to be honest, i have tuition for 4 subjects : Emaths, Amaths, Combined Science (Physics & Chemistry) @ kovan mavis.

I have to stay back after school for remedial everyday from next week onwards. Even though it haven't started, i'm already feeling the stress.

School works, Tuition works, where got time for revision & personal time when i always reach home at evening time? Is this what others said, the hell of secondary 4 students?

Cca. I'm going to step down on 13th march 2015, which means there is less than 2 months till i finished my 4 years journey in girl guides. it had been a pretty good experience being in girl guides to be honest. i joined this cca along with my friends, & i really disliked it when i was secondary 1. 

I dislike uniformed groups ever since i was in primary school as i find it very lame & nerd. As time goes by, after many involvement in girl guides, thinking day, cookie sale, national day parade, camps etc etc, i find that every events have a meaning behind it. through all these events, you will be able to interact with girl guides from other schools, know new friends & learn new things from it.

The most memorable encounter in girl guides is during my involvement in national day parade. i signed up for national day parade under girl guides as my mum told me so. i had no intention of joining it but i just go along with the idea & went for the marching trial. End up, i was the only guide from my school went got selected. I didn't talk to anyone during the training, which was every saturday, for about 1 month. i eat alone, i sit alone on the bus. i tried making friends but it's really too hard for me as i seldom speak up. i tried saying hi to some & i end up feeling feel awkward & just move away from them. i felt really upset during that period of time, as i felt that i can't blend in with the others.

I started making friends with Juliet, thanks to the leaders of guides, & we started talking & eat together every week. slowly, i made more & more friends. our training started on the start of may, all the way till national day parade. i made friends with evelyn on the 3rd last training, when they helped us celebrated the july babies & she asked me when's my birthday. it's super awkward that we only talked for thats 3 days (3 saturdays) & we actually became close friends now. we texted everyday ever since october 2013, till now. it's pretty amazing how a stranger can mean so much to me right now just through girl guides.

last 2 months of girl guides, every cca training is just precious. thanks for letting me be the company leader for north vista secondary company, even though i'm a useless one who can't train the girls well.

11 more months of hardcore studying before o levels, i really wish this motivation will remain till the end of it, & that everything will be worth it.

''i've learnt that there will always be people coming & leaving your life every now & then. you just got to stay strong & don't let this affect you at all.''

Bryana Huang