love life

i felt very very moody tonight & i'll blog about my past love life. this guy is the best guy i've ever met as compared to the others. he used to be the most important part of me, even now.. but he left, on 14th october.

everything was perfect last year. until this year when he started changing during march holidays. & thats when we broke up for the first time, & patched back after 1day. things changed after that, he started asking for those adult relationships things & changed completly. he used to be a caring guy.. last year, he keep coming to my house & folded paper stars before christmas. and we managed to fold 1000 stars & 44 hearts in total.

we used to sit together in class from january to may. that's like the best thing ever. but we started to have more quarrels, cold wars after june holidays. that's when a guy came in. i was foolish enough to not stay away from that guy & accept money from him on my birthday when im not supposed to. ever since then, my ex started to not care about me as much as he used to anymore, not to start convo everyday & we got drifted alot. everytime when i ask him out, even on my birthday, it always got rejected. there's a period of time where i purposely got close to a guy in order to make my ex to notice me, to treasure me. however, that pushes him even further.

till now, it's been 1month 1week since we broke up. he moved on, but i dont. i still cant accept the fact that he's not here with me anymore. i still cry everyday because of him. everything i've done just reminds me of him. i really hope he could come back to me again, to let us start anew which is totally impossible as he has no more feelings for me.. he apparently wont see this, but i still want to say i love you. i still love you all along no matter what. im so sorry for being such a lousy girlfriend in the past. i dont even deserve such a nice guy like you. i hope to see you finding the right one soon & to see you getting happiness real soon. it hurts seeing you together with other girl but as long as you are happy, im satisfied. (:

" goodbye my love "

xoxo